it's always been like this

One day around the time I was finishing college, my dad and I were at my grandparents’ house, watching the news with my grandpa. I don’t remember what specifically they were talking about, but it was shortly after Obama’s election.

At some point my dad said, “I don’t remember things ever being this polarized.” It was one of those moments you know is going to stick in your memory, even as it’s happening. It was an uncharacteristically reflective and vulnerable thing for my dad to say. He rarely talks politics or expresses uncertainty--it was strange to hear him do both at once.

My grandpa, in his usual way, muttered something about how “it’s always been like this.” At the time, that seemed sort of wise and comforting. Grandpa’s seen it all, I thought. Things aren’t that bad, they just seem bad because I’m young.

Looking back on it now though, I see what my grandpa said as a little dismissive. Sure, politics have always been divisive. It’s important to have a thorough understanding of history, especially recent history, to be able to put current events in context. We shouldn’t let ourselves fall into the trap of believing that things are worse than they are, and pining for a mythological bygone era.

But on the other hand, we also shouldn’t let ourselves become apathetic toward current events, writing off real cultural shifts as “politics as usual.” In retrospect, my dad’s casual remark was a pretty important observation about the changing state of political discourse at the time. I think it may have also been a little window into his own evolving political views. I wonder what his other thoughts and feelings were between 9/11 and the great recession.

I thought about this moment again recently after my wife told me about an interview she read with Fran Lebowitz, where she said “it is a very startling thing to be my age—I’m sixty-nine—and to have something happen that doesn’t remind you of anything else.” I guess everyone reacts to that startling feeling differently. I think some people, like my grandpa, react to it by underreacting.

It makes me thankful that my own parents have remained curious, thoughtful people as they’ve gotten older. I hope I can do the same as I get older myself.